But He Was Gone When Autumn Came
by Let'sDoTheTimeWarpAgain
Summary: This is from Rose's pov... sort of songficcy oneshotty drabbley thing. Set to I dreamed a dream. Obviously post Doomsday, hints at 10Rose.


**This is dedicated to Ally because she's such a legend.  
Hmm, where did this come from? I've no idea. I was feeling down one day and wanted to write something in first person, woo! And then I was listening to this song and yeah. Never written from Rose's point of view so I apologise if it's bad.  
And I obviously don't own Doctor Who.  
Yet.**

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I remember when we were together.

_There was a time when men were kind  
When their voices were soft  
And their words inviting  
There was a time when love was blind  
_It was simple love, and we couldn't see it. Maybe we wouldn't see it. Everyone else saw it but us.

Every day was spent with each other. Everywhere was beautiful and fresh. Everything was just waiting for us: the Universe, the stars. The moon and the sky and the turn of the Earth and everywhere from here to the furthest galaxy.

_And the world was a song_

I loved it.

_And the song was exciting_

And then it went.

It vanished in a flash. We didn't even have a say. We were cruelly ripped apart on that July day. I can never forget it, your face as I was pulled towards that Void. I visit it every night when I sleep.

And so we parted. Fourteen years ago to this day.

_There was a time  
Then it all went wrong  
_I can't have you but it doesn't stop me from wanting you. It doesn't stop me from wanting to look into your beautiful eyes every morning and hold your hand and take long walks with you. It doesn't stop me from wanting to see you again so badly that at times I can think of nothing else. It doesn't stop me from wanting to hug you, just wanting to **see** you so badly that it's a constant ache.

I don't know where you are. I don't know what you're doing. Have you moved on without me? It was such a long time ago, and our time together was so short. We were young, so young. Have you forgotten all about me? All the promises we made for the future? Will they ever happen? Will you ever come into my life again and will we stay together for good?

We were ripped apart and I can't bear it any more. It's been FOURTEEN YEARS and it's been all too long. I want this to stop, this pain, this longing. I want to stop turning around at any slight sound of grinding. I want to stop wearing that key, 'cause it'll never glow again.

I want to stop the tears.

I dream of you all the time, you know. Sometimes they're good

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high  
And life worth living  
_and we're in a park and we're talking and laughing and holding hands and things are so simple. Or we're on another planet. Maybe we're just eating chips. It's just like the old days, me and you and no one else. Just together, and the years that have passed don't matter. Just the two of us.

_I dreamed that God would be forgiving  
Then I was young and unafraid  
And dreams were made and used and wasted  
There was no ransom to be paid_

No one can stop us. We can do anything. We can climb the highest hill and swim across the deepest river. We can cross the desert and back. We can beat the Daleks. We can convince a bus driver that we left our bus passes at home. We can blag our way into the theatre.

_No song unsung, no wine untasted_

Sometimes the dreams aren't so good.

Sometimes we're there, the two of us, and then another woman comes along and she takes you away from me. She's dark skinned, with a red leather jacket and tight jeans. Pretty, of course, and very clever.  
And d'you know what you do? You just tell me that I left it too late and I should get over it.

_But the tigers come at night  
With their voices soft as thunder  
_You've gotten over it, haven't you?! Have you forgotten me? You've met someone else, haven't you? Have you? Could you really, really do that to me, Doctor?!

_As they tear your hope apart_

Can I find you? Can I really find you? I don't even know if you're still how I remember you. Are you bitter? Sad? Angry? Happy? Glad you got rid of me? Despondent? Have you regenerated?

I should know. I should have somehow kept in touch. I should have held onto that lever a little tighter…  
_And they turn your dream to shame_  
What will you think of me when you see this sad wreck of a woman? Will you ever come back to me? Or will we go on living our lives alone? Will you move on? I certainly won't. I can't. I never can.

_He slept a summer by my side  
He filled my days with endless wonder  
_I'll remember you for the rest of my life, those few months we spent together in each other's company. I'll never forget you, the times we shared, or your laugh or your eyes.  
_He took my childhood in his stride_

I was young, yes, but we managed. We kept on soldiering on throughout the comments from Mum.  
I thought I'd be with you forever.

_But he was gone when autumn came_

I sometimes see someone who looks like you. I go after him, pacing however long it takes to get to them. I kid myself into believing that it's you, that when they turn around it'll be your face and everything will be how it was. You'll laugh your delighted laugh and grin that schoolboy grin.

_And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
_But it's never you.

We'll never meet again. It's never going to happen for us.

_But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather_

We- or I- have to go on. Alone. A single bed; an empty ring finger; a gaping hole in the heart.  
I'm calling out so loud, for you, Doctor. Can't you hear me?

_I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living_

I can't live without you. I've tried and tested it and my heart's worn out with the strain. I want to love again but I can't. It's impossible. I've tried. I've tried everything, but those distant memories mean too much for me to let go of.  
I want to make you proud. **So **much.

I thought I could manage without you.

I can't. Not for much longer.

_So different now from what it seemed_

If only we could be together.  
If only I could find you.

But I can't.

_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed._

And that's it.

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Thank you for reading :) 


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